The EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle APC Incident

 June 26th, 1981; The EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle APC is first utilized in a secret extraction operation inside Czechoslovakian borders. The crisis began to unfold when several American military personnel inadvertently crossed through the Czech border, and in a desperate bid to avoid an international incident with Soviet forces, the EM-50 prototype was dispatched from its position in Western Germany in a covert rescue mission.

OPSEC prevents us from releasing more information on the secretive operation, but was can say the mission was a complete success, with no losses, and all hostages, as well as the entire rescue platoon successfully returned from behind the iron curtain of the highly fortified Czech borders.

"Lee Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together, forget it. I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I'm gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sergeant Hulka isn't always gonna be here to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy, and big toe... Sergeant Hulka."

Private John Winger - U.S. Army

Upon their return, and in recognition of their display of extraordinary heroism in combat against a well armed enemy force, each member of the EM-50 crew, and several members of the rescued group were honourably recognized for their valiant actions, with each receiving a Distinguished Service Cross (DSC), the United States Army's second highest military decoration. Recipients: US Army Russel Ziskey, John Winger, Louis Cooper, Stella Hansen, Sergeant Hulka, and Private Dewey "Ox” Oxberger - U.S. Army

"I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn't have the money and I thought to myself, "Join the army"! It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is perfect for me."

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- Dewey "Ox” Oxberger.

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